This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize