so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize