suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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