I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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