needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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