If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize