I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize