Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize