what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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