is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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