I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize