I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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