Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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