I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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