nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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