Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize