I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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