where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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