mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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