the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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