That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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