I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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