i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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