i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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