If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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