i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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