just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize