Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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