just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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