I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize