it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize