in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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