Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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