How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She bit a glass in half.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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