i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize