we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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