She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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