You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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