Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize