What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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