So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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