She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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