i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still dying that you shit outside
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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