shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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