we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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