He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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