When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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