Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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