I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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