Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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